Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
