her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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