My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
