well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
