he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
