Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
