She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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