is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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