I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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