Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
