Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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