We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
