think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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