No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
