just come out here and I will go home with you...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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