I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
being pregnant is like rehab
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
