We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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