I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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