I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
