Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
