mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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