"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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