So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
