your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
