Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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