I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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