girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need moral support for this bender
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
