apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
