i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
