Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
