Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
