Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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