so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
