discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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