I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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