Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
