dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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