dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
