I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
