the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
