No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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