my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
