I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
