i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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