Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
