so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
