she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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