i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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