Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
