getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
