Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just pee around me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
