would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
